Heartbreak Led Me Here…
I’ve been avoiding this for some time now — discussing my feelings, taking note of my past — all because pressing my fingers against this keyboard makes everything feel so real.
A few months ago, I lost my best friend and partner. Not literally, she’s alive and well, but we broke up, and ever since, I’ve felt so alone. Every inch of my body aches and I have this unbearable pain in my chest. At times it feels like I can’t breathe. Like I’ve lost control of my body and my mind. Some days are better than others, of course, but I often wonder, will this feeling ever go away?
For the longest time, I felt like I would give the world to have this person back in my life — to hold her hand, to make her laugh, to run my fingers through her long, curly hair, and to gaze at her breathtaking smile — it was perfect. But the fact is, she wasn’t my person. It took things ending the way that they did for me to realize this. But, for some reason, being without her still hurts beyond words.
Nevertheless, today is a new day, and I’m doing my best to move on. My life is going to be, to look, to feel, a lot different than I ever imagined. It’s scary, but I suppose that’s alright. It will have to be. I have no other choice.
Today I choose to be a better me — to do what brings me joy, to travel, to be adventurous, to dance no matter who is watching, to meet new people, to learn new languages, to love wildly, and to be open to new experiences. To live without her. After all, I just want to live a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life. That’s what we all want, right? And that my friends, is what I’m choosing to do — starting now. That is what led me here.
I want this blog to be a reminder of where I started and how far I’ve come. A guide on how I learned to turn pain into joy. A tell-all, of how I mended my broken heart. I want this blog to be a documentary, a written account of my life and journey. And if by chance you’ve stumbled upon this blog, I hope it inspires you to live your most fulfilling life.
I’m about to embark on one of the greatest adventures of my life. I’m alone. I’m nervous. I’m excited. I’m sad. I feel all of these emotions, all at once. But mostly, I feel hopeful. I’m looking forward to this remarkable journey, and I hope that you stick along for the ride.